倒数十天

我就要和我的中学生涯说BYEBYE了
问自己到底有没有一丝的不舍
心里的回答 是没有
为什么呢 一千一百万个为什么
很多人都喜欢无忧无虑的中学生涯
过着和朋友淅沥哗啦的日子
有着一班班的好朋友好姐妹

而我 告诉全世界
我的中学生涯 一点都不开心
没有很多很多的朋友
也没有很多很多的倾诉对象
我不喜欢我的中学生涯
或许曾经是喜欢过 但是没有东西值得我留恋

朋友 这样东西 在中学里 是不会长久的
本人 领教过很多很多
背叛 欺骗 心机 心计
所以 对我而言 自称姐妹的是无知和白痴
所谓的姐妹 在我身上留下的
只是一句一句的谎话 还有一刀一刀刺进心里的小动作
除此以外 背后一段一段的讽刺和是非
那你们觉得 我有必要对这样的中学生涯留恋吗

学校对我而言 只是人生中必定要经过的一个阶段
真心的对待每一个朋友
但是到最后换来的只是冷言冷语
班上的某些人觉得 以前和我无所不谈
但如今和我就像不熟悉的
是我的错吗？
是我先开始的吗？
可以很肯定的告诉你们！
不是！！！

争论根本一点意义也没有
所以选择放弃辩论的机会
每个人都有不同的性格 想法 思想
人合人缘吧 不适合 相处不来就算了吧

不过说真的
最近真的蛮开心的
可能和班上的聚会多了吧
可以玩在一起了
一起有说有笑了
考试了 彼此对彼此的鼓励和加油
多了一份轻松的心情

唯独一个人
无论班上的聚会再多
参与的人再多
我都无法在和那个人讲话和沟通
或许是自己太小气了吧
觉得那个人之前真的很够离谱和过分
看到他就觉得不想和将的人讲话！
不是讨厌他！
只是觉得不是我的错
我没有必要低声下气去和一个这样的人和好
我不可能让这样的人欺负到上头也忍气吞声当没事
既然当初他这样做 就预料到了今天的结果
说我小气也好 说我什么也罢了
我觉得自己不需要那么的委屈
反正他对我而言
一点点点点重要性都没有

算了 越讲越生气
班上的同学和朋友们
以后还有保持联络的
相信以后也会有聚会
虽然我不会留恋中学时期的生活
但我还会珍惜我所认识的朋友
P/s: 除了那个人


就这样咯
好好珍惜这十天相处见面的机会

BETRAY & CHEATING 背叛&欺骗

昨天 某位男性朋友打了通电话给我
拜托我做某些事情
问他为什么 突然间 听到了很奇怪的声音
是哭泣的声音
为什么无端端哭泣 一百万个问号

原来 他和女朋友分手了
那女生 我认识
他们 是我遇过 和觉得最不可能在一起的一对
结果 他们在一起了 有一点惊讶
大概有一年多了吧
突然间告诉我这些 还哭成这样 有一点吓到
他说 那女的 要求分手
已经分开了一个礼拜
原因是因为那女的说对他已经闷了
而且 对另外一个男生有了好感

出乎意料之外 那个男生我知道
那个男生 不是有了女朋友吗？！
还是五六年了的女朋友！
为什么会追求着那个女的呢？
他片那女的说 已经和自己的女朋友分手了
那女的 相信

据我所知 那男的和他的女朋友没有分开 也不可能会分开
但是她却用了那样的手段 去骗取一个女生对他的心
令那女生 为了认识不到两个礼拜的他 放弃了一个两年的男朋友

其实 我根本不想去干涩别人的感情是
因为我自己曾经深受其害（不过不是这个男生啦）
知道那种感受
一个男生追求你 告诉你他已经和女友分手了
但是到最后 才知道他们从来没有分开过
那种感觉超难受

也没有要帮那位女生
只是看不过眼有这样的男生
这样的男生 背着自己的女朋友在外面偷吃
还骗了另外一个女生
真的真的受不了这样的男生！！！！
为什么会有这样贱的男生？！
我真的真的看不过眼
很讨厌
这已经是夹着了背叛和欺骗！

现在的我 很矛盾
不知道应不应该告诉那衰男生的女朋友！
他的女友我不认识
本来打算告诉他女朋友的妹妹
她妹妹我认识
很犹豫

怕自己一旦说了 会把事情搞大
怕是自己太多管闲事
怕会有什么事情发生

但是如果不说
我自己有很看不过眼
怕以后那女的有什么伤害的时候
自己良心会过意不去
毕竟自己知道了这些
不告诉实话 我真的过不到自己的良心

到底我应该怎么办呢？？？
谁可以给些意见我？？？

SPM

erm....
what to blog ?
i m busy for my spm recently...
maybe the time is realy not enough us to do the remain thgs...
so it is really busy and tired..
no time to take photo
no time to shopping
no time to hang out
no time rest at all

almost tuition everyday
noon till night
after exam still going to tuition till night
damn damn damn tired..

but luckily yesterday was the last day exam for this week
add math gone
we can take a rest for nex week exam
after add math i was going to just k with stephy to relax
erm...
long time din go sing k...
like strange

today we was going to brem mall for study account
herm...
all ppl no mood to study ya..
all decided to go to sing k
then go luu.... no choice
i din hav my breakfast untill 4pm
my hand and leg like no strength
and my sweat cum out with cold..
damn no mood to sing

talk about me and my BEI
we are no argue recently
and less chating ba...
maybe i m too tired for my exam..
so when he bek till home i edi sleep
dunno why leh...

tats all for my recently...

DAMN FUCKING

Just now i was sign in my msn
then a ppl called nick ( kelvin890119@hotmail.com )
and his personal msg wrote ( b my gf, i will giv you a lot $$ )
he find me and then ask me that we got chat before onot
then i tell him dunno

he ask me to show webcam and send me the invitation
then i say i dun wan to show
tell him that i wont simply to show my wedcam to others ppl
for fun, i ask him to show me his webcam
he keep asking me to let him see my face even just 1 minutes
then i say dun wan

i keep asking him show me his webcam for funny
coz i tot nothing different
he keep telling me that he is bad
ask me to promise him dun to angry

finally he show me and open webcam
then i only can see his hand and the mouse
i tot he just wan play with me then i ask him to show face
he asked me can see onot but i juz saw black black
tell him why only show me black???

then let me see clearly
he only adjust the webcam to show his waist ( lower half of his body )
i tot he is only not yet adjust properly
then i m just waiting

SUDDENLY HE STAND UP!!!!
AND FACING HIS WAIST TO THE WEBCAM
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WANTED TO DO AT THE MOMENT
I TOT HE ONLY STAND UP TO ADJUST SOMETHING OR WHAT!
HE PULL DOWN THE ZIP OF THE PANTS!!!!!!!!
AND HE WANTED TO TAKING OUT SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CAN SEE WHAT HE TAKING OUT!!!!!!!
IF I DIN CLOSE THE WINDOW AT THE FIRST TIME
I CAN EVER SEE WHAT HE WANTED TO DO!!!!
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THEN I STRAIGHT AWAY CLICK X TO CLOSE THE WINDOW!

after that he ask me m i angry
say that he only wan to make me happy
what the fuck!
Damn badluck to meet this kind of thing
BLOCK HIM!!!!!!!

so everybody please BECAREFUL
ESPECIALLY GIRLS !!!
BLOCK THIS GUY WHEN YOU SEE THIS EMAIL ADD

( kelvin890119@hotmail.com )

AGAIN AGAin again

4:00a.m
argue with him again and again
i tot today will nothing happened
coz i m trying to make him happy

when he reach his place
he text me with a damn bad tone
told me that if i dun like then just dun to sms
what the hell when i saw the msg

then i straight away call back to ask for reason
then he tell me he was damn piss off
what the?!
tat is non of my business ok?!
why like all my fault?!
fine
i tried to ask him what was happened
then he tell me everything about his working problem

on the half way we chat
he tell me that his friend find him out to yam cha
ok fine
i knew he was damn damn unhappy
so i let him go and he promise me that he will back early

how i know what he means early is 2:13a.m
damn damn damn angry
coz he went to cyber cafe
what the...!
nothing can say actually

he say he just dun wan to back home then face 4 wall
but how about me?!
i m not facing 4 wall when i m waiting for you?!

and at the last
he said that i m so trouble again!
i want to mention!
never had a boy say that i m so trouble even once
especially my boyfriend oso never said me as a trouble girl
what ppl never did but he did
so.............
should i feeling sad or angry?
my heart keep breaking and bleeding now
thats all............................

BROKEN

4:10a.m
i haven sleep yet
juz now argue again with him
i thk he is already in his dreamz
but wat i did now is juz only sit in front of the computer
writing dowm what was happened juz now

actually i dunno how to tell
dunno why we got a lot of argue in juz few days
2 day little ces 3 day a big ces
i really dun wanna bcum that
but dunno why i always easy to get angry on what he did

what i feel piss off is
he dun understand me
i duno whether he really dun understand girls or dun understand me
he dunno that sometime when girls said dunwan but she means want
and sometime girls not telling not bcoz of she dun wan to tell
juz sometime girls do the thgs depends on their feeling
feeling is hard to tell
so....can you pls be clever?

i know i supose to show understanding and sympathy for you
but can you pls try to stand on my side and feel what my feeling
i felt angry not bcoz fo you cant accompany me
why you always misunderstood
juz sometime you told me something but at last you cant do it
i m really so hate that
if you not sure that you can 100% confirm to do something then pls dun tell me or either try to promise me can?
i know you are not purpoely to break your promise
but when you really cant observe ur promise i will really sad

you know my heart was broken slowly now
everytime you break ur promise
or either you forgot what you promise
i will tot that, m i not important to you?
i know you dun hav such meaning
but this is really my feeling at the moment that you forgot something

what i feel deeply sad is
you said me trouble
make you in painful
ya....
i m a trouble girl
only know to argue with you
i cant do anything to make you happy
maybe i dun have such qualification to be your girlfriend
i m so sorry

my eyes so painful now
and unfortunately my period coming
damn damn damn painful
i m not blame on you
just.............
i really need you always on my mind

BEI 贝

long time din talking about my BEI edi
he must so jealous
hahaha
okay... let me writing something about us for what we happened recently

last week i had a big big argue with him
argue till like really want to break
coz i m so easy to get angry
some time my emotion will make him get crazy and dunno what should do
that time i think he is really tired to explain and tolerant
so when i said i want to break
he juz say watever i want
i want break then just break

my heart was broken at the moment
i know this time wat i did on him is really a bit tick
but i will not take back my word

after he hang up my phone
i was juz cried inside my pillow
my tears was like the never stop raining
but after a few minutes
he call me back
he said juznow was juz a furios word
but i really decide to break bcoz of our problems

finally i hang up the phone and go to the bed
the second day
i din find him anymore
he keep text me but i never reply
my heart was tasteless
i dunno why we will get this outcome
however
there were really a lot of problems between us

at the night of the second day
we chat seriously and talk about the problems
i know he was always tolerate to me
i always easy to get angry
all bcoz of our personality

then we know the problems finally
we need to changing ourselves to be in tone with both of us if we still wanna to get back

now we are try to changing ourself nicely
both of us need to try to realize
and i know i need to reflection my emotion

SORRY BEI
i know my emotion is really so childish
now i m promise you i will change
i thk you will see my alter at last
right
i hope you will love me much and much
coz i know i love you deep deeply
MUACKZ~~~~~~~~~~~

PERFECT SMILE

i love this photo
not bcoz of i taking this photo with who was beside me
is bcoz of my optimistic smile

I love this perfect smiling
this is my optimistic smile
i dunno when i started to smile like this to take photo

i remember that since i love to capture myself
i never or less to smile like this
smile till show my teeth

i like to show my teeth to take photo now
how a perfect smiling and it is reall happy and show optimistic
i love it

WHAT THE....................

Juz now i was show my mum that my little dress
i capture it by used my phone
i felt it is a nice dress and look pretty
thats why i show my mum and ask for some coment

how i know she very unhappy and looks like get angry
it is really damn imposible she show me the face and the tone she scolded me
she say that i should not always taking photo by self
and scold me that later will let ppl post to some webside

and what she said is
what i take photo with a clothes tat looks like underwear(bra)
what the............
i dunno what i should say at the moment
i never taking a photo with a clothes that was looked like underwear
OMG...

how i know i m juz showing my photo to her will make her so angry
if i know early then i wont show her anymore
last few time i show her my photo she will had a joke with me
but i duno why this time will get a big big different treating

i know she is concern to me and she is really worried about it
but the scolding coming so suddenly
i really dunno what respond i need to give

i m very angry when she scolding me suddenly with this kind of reason
dunno why i felt watever i did recently are totally wrong in their eyes
m i really did something wrong or either they really dun trust me
however
they are still my parents
i cant do anythings to them

what i can do now is be patient and waiting for the last day to take my last subject exam
i think i will get back my freedom after that

GRADUATION

LETS SHOW YOU OUR GRADUATION DAY's PHOTO

PERFECT SMILING

NO TITLE

erm...
actually a lot of things happen these few days...
but i m not going to mention all
coz it is too long story
lazy to writing out...
i wanted to use photo to talk about the story...

erm...
last saturday we had a 5C party held in my place
and all classmate attend this party
it is really happy ....

next...
today is our Majlis Graduation
erm...
keep taking photo ...


PHOTO WILL BE UPLOAD SOON