Recent

Hmm... Since my PC getting format.. so i have to use english to write this time...
I don't really like to use eng much actually...
sometimes will stuck there and dunno to continue...
yupz my eng level still havent reach the level that called fluent and all the short form was not a propa eng..
but no choice today

what to say?
whose know... i thk myself is already turn to the other girl...maybe somebody knew that
turn to a bad girl that ppl said...
liquor alcohol became my favourite...
i hate the bitter smell actually but just dunno why i miss it when i need it...
i learn everythg bad on myself but not influence by others
but if you ask me why to learn these my answer is only Dont know

for me, clubbing everythg boom boom and shake shake is already bored
what only can keep my interested is just alcohol
My life is wonderful now...
my dear treat me in a good way recently...
movie, window shopping, serve him a homemade breakfast everyday, having lunch tgt and spending time with me
seems not bad, i felt sweet too... but you know... some complicated feeling inside my heart
he freak me out... make me crazy sometime...
his mood is changing day to day... hour to hour and sometime every minute
hard to catch , his mood is changing faster than me
its usual but i really dun like it

ya my birthday is around... is now after 12am
doesn't feel like any expectation for this year...
i am already 20years old... everybody feel this is still young but i said this is not
i dun really care about my age but just b4 my target achieved
years pass to years... i felt i am just wasting my time since nothing to make myself get up and fight for it
yet i got alot of dreams but i delay it bcoz of my blur-ing
cant get clear for everythg
career, emotional, and the most is love
everythg still in a blur situation make me stuck there and cant move on
i hate the feeling

ofcoz i am enjoying this kind of rubbish life
eat play slp... such an enjoyable life... but just i felt myself like nothing
friends for me is really alot and alot
but why sometime i reject to everyone who care me?
i just dun wanna to talk to everyone
but i need somebody to listen? is that funny me?
I should give myself a big slap!
what happen to me?! everythg i said is just BULL SHIT

I dun like and dun wan a normal life or a normal relationship
is bored to me... i know that i am kinda selfish on these minded
but i like everythg different
different way with others
we can only get life once... why dont just make it colourful?

something special and somethg different can raise me up
i hate bored, tasteless, meaningless and suck life!
I want somebody to care me to raise me up but not others!
Is Only YOU I want from!
but why seems like hardest to get everythg?
yet i know, even you love me or not, i will only stay beside you and waiting for your hug
is that stupid... no is not!

That is all about my recent
I love the sweetest moment during with you
I love the moment when the alcohol smell in my mouth
thats it!

Last... Happy Birthday , Chloe